Sacrifices

When you embark on and adventure as a family, such as we have, you expect to be stretched and challenged. The interesting thing is that it's often things that you didn't expect which turn out to be the major challenges. One of these for us has to have been the way in which we parent. It seems to be very different from the American way and it's so difficult to try and maintain some level of discipline and routine when the kids' whole world has been blown apart! They have generally had a great time (tho they are starting to ask more and more about when we go home and missing friends) but I feel we've gone backwards rather in terms of what is acceptable behaviour!!!

I've mentioned before in this blog how trips out to the supermarket have been incredibly stressful and I just feel that I am generally less in control of my children than I was!! They have definitely all become more self-confident which is great and we've been really proud of the way they have gone into completely new environments and found their feet so quickly. But is this all at the expense of the (generally) good behaviour we seem to have left behind in the UK. I'm not naive - my children are not perfect; far from it, but they do seem to have become more unruly in the last couple of months.

One of the biggest challenges has been to maintain regular bedtimes - we have always striven to have all 3 down and quiet around 7:oopm. Admittedly this is partly for our sanity, but also because they all still need 11-12 hours sleep and their general behaviour seems to deteriorate rapidly if they are up late. As church here is on a Sun evening we aren't home before 9 and then once drinks and bedtime routines are done, their heads aren't hitting the pillow before 9:30 at the earliest. Children here generally seem to stay up later and I've seen several child-focussed activities advertised which start at 7pm or later so I wonder am I just being old-fashioned and stuffy..... tonight, for example, while my husband is off seeing Radiohead (my favourite band as well as his), I am at home babysitting our 3 plus 2 of our friends' children (they are grabbing a well-deserved night on their own before the imminent arrival of number 3). The option of hiring a babysitter was mooted but I couldn't in all conscience have left them all with her - esp 2 who are away from home for the night. Whilst you may just think I'm being stuffy I just can't help feeling that, in the long run, it's worth maintaining some routines and that actually my children respond well to having clear boundaries set. Time will tell but I don't think I'll ever stop trying to keep my kids in order and as well-behaved as they can be.

I really miss the group of excellent young parents we have at NCC. It's such a blessing to have so much support from friends who are striving for the same things you are. I guess that's a real sacrifice when you are church-planting as there is inevitably a mix of attitudes and opinions when a small group of people from different backgrounds get together, albeit with the same goals.